Chapter: Meeting point of sorrows and love
I met God also in many different creations. In each creation beings live with a different nature. Who is God really? No creation could it discover until now. No one knows from where He comes and where He disappears. Suddenly God can appear in any creation. When God appears in one creation the beings are paralysed of fear and they do not want to look with their eyes at Him. Nevertheless, those spirits which love God unconditionally want desperately to comprehend this moment. No words can express this situation. I have observed and experienced that God travelsin future eternities. In this process He creates continually new creations and beings. He gives the authority for the new creations to those beings which have a certain degree of growth. The human creation is a young creation and God gave the authority for them to angels. When God appears with glory and full light in any creation no eyes can look at Him. When He cools down his light then all beings can see Him like you can look at the moon. Whenever He expands his light it looks like an universal fireball is coming and all beings get frightened and paralysed. God's light consists of three covers. In the centre is white light. Golden light covers this white light and blue lights covers the golden light. All three kind of lights are unified like bone and skin. All three lights are unlimited and look like an universal ball.Once when I met God in eternity He slowed down his speed, came to me and said, “This is my kindness and love for you that I met you many times.” Each time I met God much amazing grace was given to me. Every time after He had left me I felt like I never have known Him. He was just like a strange being. Therefore it seemed to me like I have met Him for the first time. I came very near to Him and I saw Him from very close. His love and kindness were so deep that He let observe me Himself. However, my mind, consciousness, heart and soul felt like it was the first moment in my life that I have met God. Though my heart keeps hold of his picture, my spirit wants to see Him again and again like it is the last time I can see Him. On another occasion He has taken me in the past of the dark eternity where nothing was created except one very high tree. It had only one trunk but no leaves and branches. I saw that God had chiseled with his fingers pictures above each other in the trunk. God turned his face and stared at me. He asked me to climb this trunk to look at the pictures of the beings which He had made. I climbed the tree and looked at the pictures. All pictures had similar faces like God. I counted them. All together were it 19 pictures. When I looked at these pictures I was surrounded by fear. I asked God, “What is this? Are you each of them?” God answered, “These 19 beings are like me. I gave them similar faces. They will spend some of their eternal time with me. They will also take care of and maintain all creations. After I will go more further in dark eternity to create new creations.” I asked God if these beings are “Lords”. God said, “They have the authority after me but I am also their God.” I said to God, “A very fearful environment is surrounding me. Why this tree does not have leaves and branches?” God answered, “Human beings can see beautiful trees with leaves and branches, forests and mountains on earth. I had to wait an eternal time before I could see leaves and branches on a tree. However human beings are still very unthankful. They do not know me and how much I have done for them. Their hearts are beating for each other but not for me. When they miss someone their thoughts go to him but not to me. They love and smile for each other but not for me. When they miss someone they shed tears in love for each other but not for me. When they are facing bad luck or something happened to them they call my name. However, they accuse me for what has happened to them. They ask where I am and why I do not help them. They ask help from a strange God who they have thrown out from their life and who is an Alien for them. This strange Alien-God has invested everything for them for the sake of love. Most of humanity do not want to have anything to do with this strange God. They have not even a moment time in their life to observe this beautiful creation that their hearts can think about their creator. The most of them I do not know. They are strange to me. I know only that I have created their spirits in sunny days of love. Yes, I still remember those days.” God continued to speak.Suddenly I got so much frightended. I felt that one day He would destroy the whole eternity. When these thoughts were surrounding me God said to me, “Do not be afraid of me. I love you. For me and for the sake of love you live day and night on earth. You breathe in my love. You do not need to be afraid of me.” His words moved me so that I had to cry very much. I said to God, “Oh Father, on earth I am a stranger for human beings. I feel very lonely. In this strange world I do not know anyone whom I can call my friend. I have no one with whom I can share my sorrows and who can understand them. I have no one to whom I can open my heart. All human beings are so strange for me. I do not know where I shall go to give your message and share my observations and experiences about You. Every day from morning to evening I live so sadly. The forest is the only one which comforts my heart. What kind of world is this?” God said to me, ”You have carried my love and sorrows in your heart. You are carrying continually suffering and pain with the hope that one day human beings will come back to me and realize who I am. Because of this I will give you eternal blessing and I will make you free like me in the whole eternity. I will give you more and more parts of my light that no heaven and no creation can dominate you. No law of heavens should judge you. It does not matter in which creation you will be in eternal life my light inside of you will tell all beings that you belong to me and I belong to you. I will give you such a light that every creation and heaven will know what it means to love me. All creations particularly human creation will be judged by law and the justice of the truth. They will find out what was the truth and purpose of life. In spiritual world they will see their result of their earthly way of life and which gift theyhave sent for themselves there. They will cry and shout out, ‘What we have done!’ In those dimensions where they enter neither they will find their loved ones nor their friends. They will have enough time to reflect their life under the painful and sorrowful circumstances in their spiritual dimensions. They have seen many good days but they have forgotten me on earth. They will not find any news about me in their dimensions but they will see different strange beings which will judge them. They will come near to those beings but they will be never near to human beings. Human beings are the last spirits which whom they want to have something to do. Then they will remember what they have done and that through their ignorance they never got to know my value. There they will be so isolated and wish if someone could speak only two words to comfort them. They will wish that someone could tell me about their painful and sad story. They will search and long to meet me like you but they will never find a spirit who can comfort and give them hope. In those dark dimensions of hell they only can long for spirits who have light. They will ask them, ‘How did you receive this light?’ They will be only interested to find out how someone got light but they will not be interested in me. They will say to the light beings, ‘We want to get light so we can come out from those dark dimensions and fly far away to enjoy other creations.’ Even there they are convinced that light can be discovered through some methods so they can fly with multi-speed of light and become independent like other light beings. Look, what kind of chess their mind plays even in those dark dimensions.What kind of game they would play with my love if they had light. Those light spirits will explain them, ‘Light is not something which you can buy or sell. You cannot get light through your mind, intellectual growth, wisdom, religious dialogue or because you were the best entertainer or Number One sportsman. God gives directly light to those spirits who have fallen in love with Him and have found their home in Him. Those spirits were tested by pain and sorrow and went through every stormy night without complain all their life. Yet they still have loved God unconditionally and have not asked for or demanded anything. They were so deeply in love with God that they have forgotten everything around them. Even heavens could not comfort them and they could not breathe without God’s love. They neither asked for heavens nor for light. God was the true purpose of their prayers and desires. He was the conclusion of their life. Finally, when those spirits saw and met God for the first time they said to Him, >Today our prayers are fulfilled. This moment we will remember throughout eternal life. You will be the reason for many of our smiles. We have not asked you for any heaven because You are our heaven. Our spirit found total fulfilment in this moment when we are with You. Allow your love to live in our breath. You should become the deepest song of love in our heart.< They have touched God’s heart so deeply that He has made them free in eternal life. God has given them everything even they never have asked Him anything. He has given them light, saying, >I will never forget you like you never have forgotten me. This is my promise of love for you and a contract of heart between you and me.< Some of them received little, others much more and again others received very extreme light according to their growth of heart and love and how much they were internally connected with God. He will not be an invisible God for them. From time to time God will meet them in different parts of paradise and heavens. The ones who have very extreme light also have gotten a part of God’s own light. They are too special because of their vertical relationship with Him. They will have the opportunity to reach God because their eyes do not feel fulfilment as long they cannot see Him. Their hearts do not feel home so long God is not in front of them. They are mystic in his love. Several have died for God on earth. Therefore they will live forever in God’s love and will receive fulfilment while they see Him.’In eternal life I will make a new promise with them. Only they and I will know it. This promise is not for every spirit but only for very less spirits, most of spirits cannot reach their state of growth. Look, the same promise which I have made with those spirits in eternal life I already have made with you on earth. If you want you can ask more for you and your spirit. I will never say ‘No!’. For you I am a living and present God. I listen directly to your prayers not through angels. You are part of my life and love.”When I heard those words I had to cry and bowed in front of God’s feet. My tears fell on his feet. God wanted to take me in his arms but I said to Him, “Let me bow in front of You and shed these tears.“ When my heart became lighter of sadness I looked at God. I saw so much love and compassion for me in his eyes. I said to Him, “My beloved Father, You are the beauty and wonder of heavens. Every heaven shines when its beings can see You with one blink and can save those moments as a highlight for their heaven. You are my everlasting happiness. You know I still live on earth. My life there is a time of sorrow and sometimes the pressure of missing You is so deep that I feel I will die. Sometimes I wish that I would not come from human lineage. On earth people deny the value of You as the true source. They are too strong but in spiritual life they are nobody. When I travel in heavens I see the different creatures, beings and angels who do not want to have a relationship with human spirits. Beside it is a challenge to find You in those high heavens for a few moments. I have to say, meeting You, human beings and heavenly creations I became a man of broken heart. Neither I have a wish to be with human beings nor to lose myself in the wonders of heavens and their beings. In this marathon of love my only wish is to come most near to You. I love You with my whole heart and soul. I am filled with sadness because of what I have heard from You about human spirits today. I know human beings became very cruel because they did not get to know your real value. If there is no salvation for them in spiritual life why You have created them? You have given the authority over them to higher creations which do not feel any compassion when they judge them. I wish if You had not created me to see such a painful and heartbreaking event in my life.” God held my hand and let me stand up. He held my chin up and said, “Look in my eyes! Forget this topic, you do not need to know me. Just hold your everlasting love for me and never change it. I have found a home in your love. That’s why I have called you my everlasting heart.” Afterwards God flew vertically and disappeared in the eternity. I flew back to the tree where God had revealed so many divine secrets to me and entered my body with a tearful heart. With heavy feet I returned home.